by penny | May 3, 2021 | The Horsey Life
Horse owners, just like everyone else, all know those people who are always looking for the next shiny thing. They’re always trying new diet and exercise plans, doctors, grocery stores (and, in some cases, husbands), because the previous one had some glaring fault or another. It’s called SOS (Shiny Object Syndrome), or FOMO (Fear of Missing Out). Add a horse to this person’s life, and suddenly there are thousands of new things – and suddenly, other people at the barn start ducking into the bathroom or pretending they’re talking on their cell phone when they see this never-happy person coming.
An example – how many horse owners do you know who spend a lot of time on forums asking everyone and their uncle for opinions on caring for an insulin-resistant horse; whether it’s better to have your horse shod or barefoot, or whether cold-laser treatment is worth trying. They perceive an issue, and (rightly) turn to their vet for an answer. The vet gives a straightforward evaluation, (backed up by years of training and experience), but the owner isn’t satisfied. They read on a forum that when horses have symptoms of ABC, they have to be treated with DEF. So then they have a chiropractor and/or a massage therapist work on the horse (on the basis of someone on a forum saying that’s what saved their horse’s life), then, when the (occasionally nonexistent) issue doesn’t resolve to the owner’s satisfaction, they decide that it’s really a shoeing problem, and they ask all their friends who the best farrier is. Hundreds of hours and thousands of dollars later, the owner circles back around to the vet’s original suggestion – at least until they read the next forum post touting a new supplement or therapeutic treatment. Don’t do that, OK?
Horse Owners Need to Listen to the Professionals!!
Here are some of the problems I have with that sort of behavior – in no particular order.
- Why in the name of all that is good and holy would you take advice from anyone and everyone with a clever screen name on an unmoderated horse forum. Seriously?? Do you even know if FriskyFilly1999 can tell the front of a horse from the back? What’s their training? Just because they’ve seen their neighbor’s son’s girlfriend’s horse get cured of something does not mean they have any actual knowledge – trust me on this!
- You need to have a support team you can trust – and then you need to let them do their jobs. Your veterinarian has spent years (in many cases, decades) acquiring the knowledge and wisdom it takes to provide exceptional care for your horse. What’s FriskyFilly1999’s horse experience? (having read all of the Black Stallion books 25 years ago does NOT count…) If you’re not comfortable with your vet, figure out why, then figure out exactly what you are looking for and get recommendations. Want a vet with a hospital including surgical ward, treadmills, pools, etc for rehab, or are you happy with the vet that’s been working with horses since 2 years before you were born and arrives at the barn in her slightly battered pickup? Neither one is necessarily better than the other, they’re just different – like a brand new Camaro vs a 15-year-old pickup truck. Gotta get hay, you’ll have better luck with the truck. Do lots of driving for work? Maybe the Camaro is a better fit (especially a red convertible, just sayin’). If your horse benefits from chiropractic treatment, acupuncture, and massage therapy – go for it – but do it as part of an overall plan – not just because you want to try the next shiny thing that comes along. Over my 50 years as a horse owner, I’ve relied on professionals in all those specialties and more to keep my horses healthy and happy, but I’ve never done it on the advice of SaddlePalGal on some forum or another – I’ve actually trusted the professionals I enlisted to help care for my horses.
- Need another reason? You seriously get on people’s nerves – namely your vet, chiropractor, massage therapist, farrier, and horsey friends. For goodness sake – pick one thing and actually give it a fair shot before you decide it isn’t working! Few things in life are fixed within the first 5 minutes of a new treatment. Learn the facts about the modality you’re interested in, (notice, I said facts, not opinions), and give it a long enough trial period to be able to evaluate its effectiveness.
- Final reason? Probably the most important one. You’re doing a disservice to your horse. Even if your heart’s in the right place, constantly trying the latest thing, only to abandon it a few weeks down the road, or when the next shiny thing pops up, can stress a horse, physically and mentally. Horses are creatures of habit, and constant upheaval doesn’t usually settle well with them. Please note: I am not saying that you shouldn’t ever try new modalities, supplements, or stretching exercises – what I am saying is to work with your trusted professionals to establish a plan to help your horse feel and perform his best.
Still dealing with FOMO? Go ahead and read those forums and check out what FriskyFilly1999’s latest suggestion is – read everything, then go to someone reputable (like your vet), and get the real story. Chances are, you’re not actually missing that much.
Until next time, Love Your Horse, Love Your Life, and Love Yourself!
by penny | Jan 19, 2017 | The Horsey Life
Nope, not even gloom of night. The mail carrier? No, horse owners!
Most of the time, when your child is wishing for a horse, they’re not thinking about carrying 5 gallon buckets of water (at 8.33 pounds per gallon…) in 15 degree temperatures, or feeding in the dark before school and
Snow Horse
mucking out in the dark after school; but unless you live south of the Mason-Dixon Line, this could be the reality for days or weeks on end. (more…)
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by penny | Jan 16, 2017 | Find Yourself on a Horse, The Horsey Life
The Beagle
As a mid-life, happily married woman, I have to confess, horses add a lot to my life that I just don’t get elsewhere. They fulfill my desire for beauty, for nurturing, for connecting with another life form, and yes, even for petting something warm and fuzzy. (Although the Beagle would insist I can fulfill my entire warm fuzzy petting needs with her…)
The reasons for the depth of the connection between horses and women are myriad, but even though many of us are aware of the connection, we’d like to make it stronger, or we simply go on in our habits (which might be decades old) of interacting with horses, and therefore miss a lot of the advantages of spending time with these amazing creatures.
I started this blog to help women become more mindful in their relationships with their horses, with the important people in their lives, and, most importantly, with themselves. I’ve owned horses for 45 years, and been an internationally certified instructor for most of that time. I’ve owned and run a large boarding, training, and lesson barn; taught everything from kids on ponies to adults who were working on national rankings in the dressage arena. I’m a certified Therapeutic Riding Instructor and Equine Specialist in Mental Health and Learning, and I’m an avid student who has learned (and continues to learn) important life lessons from horses. I’ve picked up a fair amount of wisdom (as well as knowledge) along the way, and I’ve helped dozens of women find their way. I’d like to help you, as well.
I’ll be focusing on 10 key areas over the weeks and months to come. They are:
- Awareness
- Understanding
- Trust
- Respect
- Communication
- Confidence
- Goals
- Planning
- Balance
- Harmony
I’ll be posting on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. I hope you’ll join me on this journey and that in some small way, I’m able to help you find yourself on a horse.
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by penny | Jan 13, 2017 | The Horsey Life
In the last post, I spoke a bit about the need to put yourself first. The trouble a lot of us have with that is that we have no idea where to start. We’re not even aware of the need to start – we cruise through our life on auto pilot, and quite frankly, our auto pilot probably isn’t taking us anywhere we really want to go.
How often have you arrived at the end of a commonly driven trip and realized (with some alarm), that you don’t remember most of the drive. This used to happen to me so frequently that I worried I’d run someone over and never notice! Fear not – I’m here with a few simple exercises to help you start getting back into the driver’s seat of your life.
Please note – I said simple, not easy. Changing a habit, or starting a new one requires work – it’s not like suddenly flipping a switch and becoming aware of all the magical sights and sounds you’ve been missing most of your adult life. But trust me, the effort you put into these exercises is worth it – and the one who’s likely to notice the change in you first is your horse.
Horses, as I’m sure you’re aware, are prey animals, and humans are predators. (The fact that your horse lets you sit on her back kind of makes you appreciate her even more, doesn’t it?) The whole prey animal thing is why we always teach horse-newbies not to run and jump and yell and make sudden movements and noises around horses – their reaction to being startled is to get away from the thing that startles them as quickly as possible.
The interesting thing is that we don’t have to be thinking about eating a steak for horses to be reminded that we’re predators. Have you ever approached your horse in the field with your agenda for the next hour running through your head? There you are, marching through the pasture, looking down and mumbling, “I’ve got to catch Precious, take her in and groom her – and since she’s filthy that will take at least a half hour, and then by the time I tack up, I’ll have 20 minutes to ride, 5 to cool down, and I’ll just manage to get home in time to get dinner on the table…..” Then you look up and your horse has started determinedly walking… away from you…. You, my friend, have approached your horse like a predator. A woman on a mission is not someone a horse feels like trusting implicitly, so spend a little time with these exercises before you see your horse the next time, and see how much she appreciates your efforts.
Breathe. This should be a no-brainer, but quite honestly, most of us tend to hold our breath or breathe very shallowly when we’re concentrating intently on something. News flash – so does a predator when they’re getting ready to pounce on their next meal. Don’t believe me? Watch a cat stalking a cricket (or mouse, bird, or just about anything that moves). The intense concentration, very shallow breathing, muscles tensed…. So can you blame your horse for avoiding you when you head out to the field to catch her when you’re über focused on your agenda? Try adding a few deep breaths before you open the pasture gate (or stall door, if your horse is in). Be sure to breathe in deeply, hold for a few seconds, and then exhale – allowing your shoulders to drop. Add a couple of head and shoulder rolls, and then go catch your horse. Chances are, she’ll be a lot happier to meet you half way.
Let it Be. More than just an iconic hit by the Beatles, Let it Be is how I deal with my agenda when it pops into my head. I don’t mentally berate myself for slipping up and getting stressed by thinking about tension-creating stuff. I just acknowledge it, let it be, and then come back to taking a deep breath, relaxing my shoulders, and connecting with my horse.
10 Second Check. This is a great exercise to use any time of day, but especially right before you get out of the car at the barn, or just before you head out to the barn if you’re fortunate enough to have your horse at home. The 10 Second Check offers 2 options – start at the top, or start at the bottom. I’ll start at the top for my explanation.
- Stretch your mouth open wide, then rotate your jaw around a little, then close your mouth softly – feel for tension in your head
- Gently roll your head once in each direction – feel for tension in your neck
- Perform a shoulder roll – up, back, down, and relax – feel for tension in your shoulders
- Tighten your arms muscles, then relax – feel for tension in your forearms and biceps
- Clench your hands, then roll your wrists and relax – feel for tension in your wrists, hands, and fingers
- Pull your stomach muscles in, then let them relax – feel for tension in your abdominal muscles
- Tighten your buttock muscles, then relax – feel for tension in your low back or hips
- Tighten both thighs, then relax – feel for tension in your thighs
- Tighten your calves, then relax – feel for tension in your knees and calves
- Rotate your ankles and curl your toes, then relax – feel for tension in your feet and ankles
After doing your check, repeat the tightening and relaxing on any area where tension or stiffness lingers. Complete the exercise with a deep breath in, hold for a few seconds, then exhale, relaxing the shoulders. Now you’re ready to see your horse.
Do You Hear What I Hear? In addition to being the name of a great Christmas song, this is also a great exercise to remind you to be truly present the next time you go see your horse. Since I started in a musical vein here, let me bring in another song – “Till There Was You“, from The Music Man (also covered by the Beatles). The lyrics relate that “there were bells on the hill, but I never heard them ringing”, along with a handful of other decidedly non-mindful situations. The upshot of the song is that falling in love made the singer blissfully aware of all the joys surrounding him. The good news? No new romance required! Before you connect with your horse, simply stop and listen. Take a few deep breaths in and out, relaxing your shoulders, and listen. Even if you don’t hear bells on the hill, you may hear the best sound of all – your horse’s gentle nicker as she greets you.
An Alarming Idea. This is more of a reminder to do your exercises than an exercise itself. If you’re having a hard time remembering to do a few deep breaths during the day, or you find your shoulders are really tense as you’re working in the afternoon – set an alarm on your phone or watch – pick a gentle sound if possible, and when your alarm goes off, take 10 seconds to breathe or do the 10 second check. If possible, set your alarm for 3 or 4 times during the day. Each time you hear it, you’ll become more mindful about checking in with yourself.
Hopefully after adding these 5 exercises to your routine for the next few weeks, you’ll be relaxed and able to fully enjoy your time with your horse – and you won’t have to worry about whether you’ve run over someone on the way!
