by penny | Jul 11, 2021 | The Horsey Life
Best First Horse Ever
I celebrated a monumental occasion yesterday. 50 years ago, July 10, 1971, I got my first horse. I was 12, and a total horse addict. All of my Scholastic Books orders contained horse books. I had read every horse book in both the school and town library by the time I was in 5th or 6th grade. It was clear to my parents that this was not something I was going to outgrow.
Unbeknownst to me, my Dad had been driving around rural northwest Connecticut on his lunch breaks looking for a horse for me. One day in July, 1971, he stopped by a dealer’s farm and happened to notice a bay mare (although he wouldn’t have been able to name the color or the gender at that time). He spoke with the dealer and made arrangements for us to go try out the horse that Saturday. I was over the moon excited!
When we got to the yard, the dealer asked me a few questions:
Dealer: Do you ride English or Western? (Read – let me start working on my sales spiel)
Me: English
Dealer: Have you ridden much? (Are you likely to get killed by the horse if I let you ride her?)
Me: I can walk and trot and I’m in 4-H and want to ride in horse shows.
Dealer: This horse is going to be perfect for you!! She was owned by a girl who showed her in 4-H shows until she went off to college and had to find a new home for her.
The truth, we discovered much later, was that this horse arrived on a box car from Montana just a week or so before I went to try her.
The $400 was paid, and my horse was to come home in just a few days once we had everything ready for her. Like fencing. And shelter…
Neighbors of ours whose horse I had been riding, had an extra stall, and that’s where she spent her first few nights as my horse. My Dad, being of Irish decent and Scottish birth, suggested her name should be O’Malley, due to the OM brand on her left flank.
My Dad and I spent the next couple of days mowing the field, and putting up 1 strand of electric fence to surround it. Dad had already begun construction of a small barn to store his outdoor tools, and half of the 10’ x 20’ structure became O’Malley’s stall.
O’Malley was a wonderful first horse. She loved life in general.
- She went English beautifully. (I was ignorant enough not to realize that this could have been a problem).
- She went to horse shows – in the back of a pickup truck! We didn’t have a trailer, so we went to show with friends of my Mom’s. They put a wooden rack (for lack of a better description) on the back of their pickup, had a makeshift ramp, which she’d go right up and then stand trying to peek over the sides. (I was ignorant enough not to realize that this could have been a really BIG problem!)
- She LOVED trail riding and jumping cross country. We used to climb the Appalachian Trail which went up the side of a mountain a little way from our house. There was a State Forest at the top, and we poddled our way through it. Mostly on trails, sometimes through brush.
- She had very good horse sense. More than once on one of our mountain poddling adventures, (mostly when we were bush whacking), I’d lose track of where I was; but I never felt desperate or afraid. I knew (in general) which way our house was, and if I wasn’t sure I’d just let O’Malley choose the way home. We made it every time. And usually before dark. (Did I mention I was doing this at age 12 all by myself? Yeah – those were the days…)
- She was safe as houses. When I was a freshman in High School, our VoAg (Vocational Agriculture) department had an open day, and I got to bring my horse. But, we still didn’t have a trailer… So, I got to miss classes on a Friday to ride my horse the 12 or so miles to school. Fortunately, she didn’t object to the enclosure we made for her out of farm gates under an overhang of the building (possibly due to the amount of hay I gave her…) The plan was for her to stay overnight, be ready for the open house on the Saturday morning, and then we’d ride back home on the Saturday afternoon. Until it snowed… All in all, I believe she spent 2 or 3 nights at school, and never once tried to escape from her little covered corral.
The list of her positive traits was long, but there were a few she had that drove me nuts.
- She hated to be inside. The barn my Dad and I built didn’t have a door, just an opening where we were going to (eventually) put a door. O’Malley loved the whole no-door experience. Which was fine… except for the night before I was going to a horse show and I was trying to keep her as clean as I could. I used all sorts of barricades that I thought would work… Invariably, I’d get up at 6 only to find that she not only had gotten out, but had also rolled. Oh, and she didn’t particularly want to be caught, thank you very much. We only ever missed one show. She refused to load in the trailer that someone was picking her up in. She planted her feet and that was kind of it (despite royally pissing off the person trying to load her.) When the royally pissed off person kicked her in the stomach, I took the lead rope and took her back to the field. I didn’t want to show that badly…
- Oh, remember that horse sense? Yeah, there was a shadow side to that. We had an electric fence that made a steady tick – tick – tick noise. And it never took her more than 10 minutes or so to realize that there was no ticking, and she’d immediately escape.
- And the difficult to catch issue? She knew when I went to catch her after school that I was going to ride her, so she became rather difficult to catch. I can’t remember the number of times my Mom would come home from work, and O’Malley would be at the fence before Mom even came in the driveway. O’Malley knew the sound of the car, and that my Mom always brought her carrots. (The easiest way to a horse’s heart…).
As I mentioned earlier, O’Malley had an OM brand on her flank. It just so happened that a person who worked with my Mom (the wife of the man with the pick up with the rack), had an old brand book. Just on a whim, she looked up O’Malley’s brand – and it was listed!! I was so excited!
I wrote down the address (on the Montana/North Dakota border) and went home wrote a letter (it was 1976 at that point – pen and paper were still a thing). I could not believe it when I received a reply a week or so later. They had bred O’Malley, and still had her Quarter Horse dam Lady, although her Arabian sire had been killed by lightning a few years before. They sent pictures and we began communicating. The summer between my junior and senior years in High School, my parents and I travelled in their motor home out to visit the Moe’s and see where O’Malley had started her life.
We were welcomed into the family, and I got to ride Lady on a roundup 2 days after we arrived. Fortunately, I had been getting O’Malley and myself fit for a Pony Club rally, so I’d been spending quite a bit of time riding. But not in a Western saddle… Let’s just say it was a long (and amazing) day. Lady decided to go after a stray cow at one point. I figured she probably knew what she was doing better than I was! Once Lady was satisfied with getting the cow going in the right direction, I looked around and couldn’t see anyone. Which is kind of scary when you’re riding a horse in an area called the Badlands. But I figured O’Malley had to get her horse sense from someone, so I let Lady choose the way and we were back together with the main group within about 5 minutes. (5 looong minutes!) .
I should probably close now. I could keep telling stories about O’Mally for hours. It’s hard to believe that that horse that “a college girl rode English in horse shows” turned out t be a much better horse than that dealer could even imagine.
by penny | Jul 5, 2021 | The Horsey Life
If you’ve been working all day, whether it’s at your job or business, working in your garden, or keeping up with the housework, you may find yourself pretty tired at the end of the day. And if you typically ride after work, you’re likely to be wiped out long before you put a foot in the stirrup.
I’ve been there and it’s no fun! I don’t know about you, but I want to feel calm because I’m centered and grounded, not because I’m so fatigued I’m struggling to keep my eyes open.
There are thousands of ways to revive your energy – (just type a “how to get energy” in the Google search bar. I came up with about 2,450,000,000 results (0.79 seconds). Don’t feel like scrolling through several thousand articles? You’re in luck! I’ve done some of the searching for you.
The three types of exercises I chose are quick, simple, and free, (and none of them involve heading through the Starbucks drive-through on the way to the barn!)
Breathing
You might think I talk about breathing a lot, and there’s a good reason for that. It’s because I do. Using your breath in a mindful way can help you feel energized, calm, confident, or peaceful. The value of breathing exercises can’t be overstated – it goes with us wherever we go, and it’s even free!
Why it works: Deep breathing, which is also called belly breathing or abdominal breathing, brings more oxygen into your body. According to an article by Dr. Mehmet Oz on sharecare.com, Nitric oxide is drawn into your lungs when you practice deep breathing. Nitric oxide opens up airways and blood vessels in and around your lungs. Put better breathing in, and you’ll see improvements in your energy and overall health.
The links below take you to a few different sites with breathing exercises. I usually recommend that my students and clients try out a few different exercises. Try to remember to do the exercise 2 or 3 times a day for at least a few days. That will allow you to decide if you like the exercise and if you feel like it’s helping. If you try an exercise you absolutely hate, move on to the next one. (I’m sure you’ll find something that works in the 54,600,000 results that Google pulled up for me ( in 0.65 seconds) when I searched “deep breathing for energy”.
Gaiam, a well-respected wellness site, suggests a one-minute breathing exercise that’s based on yogic principles. Very effective, and it can be done simply, easily, and quickly!
Dr. Andrew Weil is a very well-known doctor of integrative medicine. Three of his breathing exercises can be learned here.
A quick explanation of Integrative Medicine given by the National Institutes of Health (NIH) “Integrated medicine (or integrative medicine as it is referred to in the United States) is practicing medicine in a way that selectively incorporates elements of complementary and alternative medicine into comprehensive treatment plans alongside solidly orthodox methods of diagnosis and treatment.
“Integrated medicine is not simply a synonym for complementary medicine. Complementary medicine refers to treatments that may be used as adjuncts to conventional treatment and are not usually taught in medical schools. Integrated medicine has a larger meaning and mission, its focus being on health and healing rather than disease and treatment. It views patients as whole people with minds and spirits as well as bodies and includes these dimensions into diagnosis and treatment. It also involves patients and doctors working to maintain health by paying attention to lifestyle factors such as diet, exercise, quality of rest and sleep, and the nature of relationships.”
Integrated Health is becoming more mainstream in the United States as patients and doctors seek ways to treat the person as a whole entity, rather than dozens of specific parts. Deep breathing is good for the whole body, not just your brain, or lungs, or heart.
Move
Not the “hire a U-Haul truck, pack up all of your furniture and head across the country” sort of move, more like the “let’s go for a walk, or dance in the kitchen (or clean stalls, groom, ride, etc).
Paradoxically, we’re often dealing with pain that limits the very thing that will make us feel energized – movement.
I am not, I repeat, I am NOT a doctor or other medical professional. You need to speak with your health care provider before you embark on any new exercise program. Be ready with specific questions on what exercises would be beneficial, and which to avoid to keep you strong, keep you healthy, reduce your pain, and ramp up your energy. You can speak with your doctor or physical therapist about what exercises can actually improve your pain while they give your energy a boost.
Hydrate
I don’t know about you, but when it’s hot like it is here in Virginia at the moment, I drink a LOT of water. I have 2 quart-size water bottles as well as a 20-ounce one. They’re stainless steel and double-walled so they don’t leave damp rings on my desk as I work. They also go with me when I go to the barn, work in the garden, or take any drive that’s more than 15 minutes.
According to an article in cnet, water can make you more energized.
“Drinking more water gives you more energy to do anything from strenuous physical feats to staying awake at your desk after lunch. Many studies have shown that dehydration lowers athletic performance, making you feel sluggish and off your game. It can also cause you to feel tired or sleepy, so if you’re getting enough sleep but can’t keep your eyes open, you may need to just up your water intake.
One study suggested that being dehydrated hurts physical performance for any activity longer than thirty seconds. Even if you don’t work out for hours on end, short flights of stairs or walking around the city you live in will feel much easier if you’re hydrated.”
I tend to sweat a lot, so it’s important for me to stay hydrated. I keep track of how many bottles I’ve consumed during the day by putting colored elastic bands around my bottle – 1 for each bottle I’d like to drink during the day. So if I want to drink 4 quarts, I’ll put 2 elastic bands on the lower section of each quart-sized bottle. When I finish a quart, I just roll the elastic higher on the bottle. When all of my bands are near the top of the bottles, I know how much water I’ve had during the day.
So now you have a few things to do during the day that can help your energy levels, and also improve your overall health – helping you be the owner your horse deserves for many years to come.
Until next time, Love Your Horse, Love Your Life, Love Your Self
by penny | Jun 14, 2021 | The Horsey Life
Can you hear me now?
If you’re like me, you’ve got a constant conversation running through your mind. (Please tell me it’s not just me!) From things I need to do to hoping it’s going to rain to making sure I bring a mask when I clip Laddie (yup, I’m allergic to horses…) – it’s a wonder I even have time to speak with other people, much less the mental bandwidth!
The main trouble with this is that, in being buried in our own ramblings, we sometimes don’t engage fully when we’re speaking with someone. We’ve all had times when we tune out of a conversation and start thinking about what to cook for dinner, then suddenly realize the person we’re speaking with has paused and is expecting an answer, right? Awkward! Sometimes it works the other way, where you start a conversation only to have your mind hijacked and taken down the nearest rabbit hole, leaving the other person backing away quietly and glancing around for the nearest exit.
Now, consider your conversations with your horse. It’s likely you are doing most of the “talking”, either with words, body language, (or peppermints), but are you sure your horse is understanding? Since we’re the more highly “evolved” being (don’t get me started on why I prefer most horses to a fair amount of people…), it’s up to us to make sure we are being understood. As I mentioned in the last post, first you need to become self-aware and understand yourself before you can expect to be understood by your horse.
Listen to learn, talk to teach.
That was one of my Dad’s favorite expressions (along with “A good teacher answers the questions, a good student questions the answers.” My Dad was brilliant.) Well, in our conversations with our horses, we need to make sure we’re listening exponentially more often than talking. He already knows how to be a horse – there’s nothing you can teach him about that; however, if you want him to learn your language, you have to learn his first.
It can be frustrating to wait for him to understand a new exercise, and at times we may find ourselves increasing the volume and repetition of the request rather than taking a step back and figuring out why he didn’t understand it in the first place. It’s like waiting for a file to load on a computer.
How many times do you hit the enter key (usually uttering a bit of colorful language under your breath) because it just won’t load the damn page? Here’s a hint (both for your computer and your horse) – every time you click enter (or repeat your aid to your horse), it’s like hitting the reset button. – it just keeps sending him back to the beginning of the thought process, and it can make him anxious (and sometimes a bit cranky – but, can you blame him??)
Here are a few tips on how to become a better conversationalist with your horse, which will, in turn, help you become the owner he deserves.
- Ask once. Just once. Give him an opportunity to think through your request before you start asking over and over again. If it seems like his mind has wandered, ask him something simple just to get his attention back on the work at hand. It’s hard for him to focus when he’s gradually falling asleep at the end of the lead rope!
- Reward all tries. If you’re asking him to yield his hindquarters and he takes a step backward instead, don’t punish him – horses honestly don’t do things that frustrate us “on purpose”, it’s typically because they don’t understand our request. Spend a minute and think about your aid to the horse – if he didn’t understand, how can you present the request again in a way that’s clearer to him.
- Clear the static. Have you ever tried to tune in a radio station, but the connection so full of static that you could only understand every third or fourth word? Welcome to the world of how your horse can feel about your aids. I can’t tell you the number of lessons I’ve taught where a student told me that the lesson horse they’re riding is much better than he was a few weeks earlier. I’d then explain that wasn’t the horse who improved – he’d always been a good horse, it was the student being clearer with their aids that made it easier for the horse to understand them.
Give it a try! Next time you’re with your horse, and he doesn’t understand something you ask him, follow the steps above and you might just see that he was a good horse all along.
Until next time – love your horse, love your life, and love yourself!
by penny | Jun 8, 2021 | Find Yourself on a Horse, The Horsey Life
Whether you’re an adult new to horses and horseback riding, or you’re returning to the equine world after a long break, there’s a bit of a learning curve to understanding a horse. (Trust me – I’ve been a professional for over 40 years, and I’m still learning :-).
There are some easily recognizable signals, such as the horse nickering when he sees you coming (and he knows you have a treat), or putting his ears back when he’s cranky (it pays to learn this one early on in your Horsey Life!); but there is also a myriad of other signals that you may be missing. And the best way to learn them may surprise you. Learn to understand yourself first.
Self is a four-letter word
There are a lot of times where “self” has a negative connotation: self-absorbed, self-centered, selfish – even self-confident has been given a bad rap.
Self-Awareness, on the other hand, is a good thing. By becoming aware of our bodies, our thoughts, and our emotions, we’ll not only gain insight on how we’re perceived by horses, but also why we perceive horses the way we do.
We all have built-in self-protection behaviors – it’s how we’re wired. They spend their days toiling away deep in our subconscious. They have a huge part in running the show in our lives, and we don’t even realize we’re relying on old habits of processing fear, anxiety, or doubt. Our sneaky subconscious has become pretty good at hiding in plain sight.
With a smile and denial
Think about a time when you were around a horse and you felt a little fear tugging at the edge of your mind. You brush it off. Why worry? This is a horse you’ve taken lessons on for a year – why the sudden whisper of fear?
You finish tacking up and hide behind a smile (and in denial). Everything’s fine – at least that’s what you tell yourself. You’re just being silly. After all, it would be too embarrassing to tell your riding instructor that you’re afraid, and you wouldn’t share that with your family – they don’t even understand why you want to ride in the first place.
But by pretending everything is OK, you’re setting yourself up for more discomfort down the road. Without acknowledging and working to understand your feelings, the fear will keep coming back and you will feel more and more powerless to combat it.
Bring your fear out of hiding
If you’re going to continue working with horses, you’ll need to do some inner work.
- Extend grace to yourself. You are not hopeless, idiotic, pathetic or any of the other nasty adjectives you use to label yourself. We are ridiculously unkind to ourselves – beating ourselves up over things we likely wouldn’t even notice in a friend. So – no self-flagellation allowed.
- Acknowledge the emotion. You are entitled to your emotions and no one else has the right to belittle you or gloss over your feelings. This extends to your instructor, your family and yourself!
- See and feel the emotion. Enter journaling and visualization. I know – journaling has become the new black. I think the only thing I haven’t heard people insist journalling can cure is male pattern baldness. But – I’m saying to journal anyway. Write down the instance when you felt the fear – put in as much detail as you remember. Now, visualize the experience in “slow-motion”. Take it one frame at a time and see if you can pinpoint when and how the fear showed up. Were you picking out the horses’s feet? Were you getting ready to tighten the girth? Once you’ve identified when you first noticed the fear, now connect with the what. What did the fear feel like in your body? Did you have a mini-flashback, so brief that you hardly noticed it? Did you feel a catch in your breath or a tightening in your shoulders? Sit with that feeling. You’ll most likely want to skip this or do a very cursory job of it. Resist the resistance. Acknowledging your emotion is the first step in understanding it, and understanding yourself.
- Visualize the scene again, but this time, imagine you acknowledged your fear. Imagine you spoke with your instructor and explained your fear. Imagine she listened and worked with you to find a way to work through the fear. How does that feel in your body? Did you experience the same tightening in your shoulders? Did it stay the same, intensify, or lessen? Being able to feel the physical manifestation of fear stops the downward mental spiral that can quickly spin into a much greater level of anxiety.
- Gradually work through your body, head to toe, and consciously relax each body part – the jaw and shoulders are often where the fear pops up, but check the rest of your body as well.
- Repeat the second visualization a few times and you’ll see your fear start to dissipate.
Visualization is a great way to “pre-treat” anxiety and fear as well. Visualize in great detail that you’re tacking up the horse, you and the horse are calm and relaxed. Feel the silkiness of the horse’s neck as you pat him, smell the peppermint that you gave him. Feel yourself leading him to the mounting block and mounting him quietly as he stands perfectly still. You take a deep breath and exhale, and carry on with a great ride.
Until the next time, love your horse, love your life, and love yourself!
Are you interested in a few more stress-busting exercises? Grab your free copy of 60 Seconds to Calm and learn 3 simple exercises you can do in 60 seconds or less to help you nip anxiety in the bud and fully enjoy your Horsey Life.
by penny | May 3, 2021 | The Horsey Life
Horse owners, just like everyone else, all know those people who are always looking for the next shiny thing. They’re always trying new diet and exercise plans, doctors, grocery stores (and, in some cases, husbands), because the previous one had some glaring fault or another. It’s called SOS (Shiny Object Syndrome), or FOMO (Fear of Missing Out). Add a horse to this person’s life, and suddenly there are thousands of new things – and suddenly, other people at the barn start ducking into the bathroom or pretending they’re talking on their cell phone when they see this never-happy person coming.
An example – how many horse owners do you know who spend a lot of time on forums asking everyone and their uncle for opinions on caring for an insulin-resistant horse; whether it’s better to have your horse shod or barefoot, or whether cold-laser treatment is worth trying. They perceive an issue, and (rightly) turn to their vet for an answer. The vet gives a straightforward evaluation, (backed up by years of training and experience), but the owner isn’t satisfied. They read on a forum that when horses have symptoms of ABC, they have to be treated with DEF. So then they have a chiropractor and/or a massage therapist work on the horse (on the basis of someone on a forum saying that’s what saved their horse’s life), then, when the (occasionally nonexistent) issue doesn’t resolve to the owner’s satisfaction, they decide that it’s really a shoeing problem, and they ask all their friends who the best farrier is. Hundreds of hours and thousands of dollars later, the owner circles back around to the vet’s original suggestion – at least until they read the next forum post touting a new supplement or therapeutic treatment. Don’t do that, OK?
Horse Owners Need to Listen to the Professionals!!
Here are some of the problems I have with that sort of behavior – in no particular order.
- Why in the name of all that is good and holy would you take advice from anyone and everyone with a clever screen name on an unmoderated horse forum. Seriously?? Do you even know if FriskyFilly1999 can tell the front of a horse from the back? What’s their training? Just because they’ve seen their neighbor’s son’s girlfriend’s horse get cured of something does not mean they have any actual knowledge – trust me on this!
- You need to have a support team you can trust – and then you need to let them do their jobs. Your veterinarian has spent years (in many cases, decades) acquiring the knowledge and wisdom it takes to provide exceptional care for your horse. What’s FriskyFilly1999’s horse experience? (having read all of the Black Stallion books 25 years ago does NOT count…) If you’re not comfortable with your vet, figure out why, then figure out exactly what you are looking for and get recommendations. Want a vet with a hospital including surgical ward, treadmills, pools, etc for rehab, or are you happy with the vet that’s been working with horses since 2 years before you were born and arrives at the barn in her slightly battered pickup? Neither one is necessarily better than the other, they’re just different – like a brand new Camaro vs a 15-year-old pickup truck. Gotta get hay, you’ll have better luck with the truck. Do lots of driving for work? Maybe the Camaro is a better fit (especially a red convertible, just sayin’). If your horse benefits from chiropractic treatment, acupuncture, and massage therapy – go for it – but do it as part of an overall plan – not just because you want to try the next shiny thing that comes along. Over my 50 years as a horse owner, I’ve relied on professionals in all those specialties and more to keep my horses healthy and happy, but I’ve never done it on the advice of SaddlePalGal on some forum or another – I’ve actually trusted the professionals I enlisted to help care for my horses.
- Need another reason? You seriously get on people’s nerves – namely your vet, chiropractor, massage therapist, farrier, and horsey friends. For goodness sake – pick one thing and actually give it a fair shot before you decide it isn’t working! Few things in life are fixed within the first 5 minutes of a new treatment. Learn the facts about the modality you’re interested in, (notice, I said facts, not opinions), and give it a long enough trial period to be able to evaluate its effectiveness.
- Final reason? Probably the most important one. You’re doing a disservice to your horse. Even if your heart’s in the right place, constantly trying the latest thing, only to abandon it a few weeks down the road, or when the next shiny thing pops up, can stress a horse, physically and mentally. Horses are creatures of habit, and constant upheaval doesn’t usually settle well with them. Please note: I am not saying that you shouldn’t ever try new modalities, supplements, or stretching exercises – what I am saying is to work with your trusted professionals to establish a plan to help your horse feel and perform his best.
Still dealing with FOMO? Go ahead and read those forums and check out what FriskyFilly1999’s latest suggestion is – read everything, then go to someone reputable (like your vet), and get the real story. Chances are, you’re not actually missing that much.
Until next time, Love Your Horse, Love Your Life, and Love Yourself!
