by penny | Jul 11, 2021 | The Horsey Life
Best First Horse Ever
I celebrated a monumental occasion yesterday. 50 years ago, July 10, 1971, I got my first horse. I was 12, and a total horse addict. All of my Scholastic Books orders contained horse books. I had read every horse book in both the school and town library by the time I was in 5th or 6th grade. It was clear to my parents that this was not something I was going to outgrow.
Unbeknownst to me, my Dad had been driving around rural northwest Connecticut on his lunch breaks looking for a horse for me. One day in July, 1971, he stopped by a dealer’s farm and happened to notice a bay mare (although he wouldn’t have been able to name the color or the gender at that time). He spoke with the dealer and made arrangements for us to go try out the horse that Saturday. I was over the moon excited!
When we got to the yard, the dealer asked me a few questions:
Dealer: Do you ride English or Western? (Read – let me start working on my sales spiel)
Me: English
Dealer: Have you ridden much? (Are you likely to get killed by the horse if I let you ride her?)
Me: I can walk and trot and I’m in 4-H and want to ride in horse shows.
Dealer: This horse is going to be perfect for you!! She was owned by a girl who showed her in 4-H shows until she went off to college and had to find a new home for her.
The truth, we discovered much later, was that this horse arrived on a box car from Montana just a week or so before I went to try her.
The $400 was paid, and my horse was to come home in just a few days once we had everything ready for her. Like fencing. And shelter…
Neighbors of ours whose horse I had been riding, had an extra stall, and that’s where she spent her first few nights as my horse. My Dad, being of Irish decent and Scottish birth, suggested her name should be O’Malley, due to the OM brand on her left flank.
My Dad and I spent the next couple of days mowing the field, and putting up 1 strand of electric fence to surround it. Dad had already begun construction of a small barn to store his outdoor tools, and half of the 10’ x 20’ structure became O’Malley’s stall.
O’Malley was a wonderful first horse. She loved life in general.
- She went English beautifully. (I was ignorant enough not to realize that this could have been a problem).
- She went to horse shows – in the back of a pickup truck! We didn’t have a trailer, so we went to show with friends of my Mom’s. They put a wooden rack (for lack of a better description) on the back of their pickup, had a makeshift ramp, which she’d go right up and then stand trying to peek over the sides. (I was ignorant enough not to realize that this could have been a really BIG problem!)
- She LOVED trail riding and jumping cross country. We used to climb the Appalachian Trail which went up the side of a mountain a little way from our house. There was a State Forest at the top, and we poddled our way through it. Mostly on trails, sometimes through brush.
- She had very good horse sense. More than once on one of our mountain poddling adventures, (mostly when we were bush whacking), I’d lose track of where I was; but I never felt desperate or afraid. I knew (in general) which way our house was, and if I wasn’t sure I’d just let O’Malley choose the way home. We made it every time. And usually before dark. (Did I mention I was doing this at age 12 all by myself? Yeah – those were the days…)
- She was safe as houses. When I was a freshman in High School, our VoAg (Vocational Agriculture) department had an open day, and I got to bring my horse. But, we still didn’t have a trailer… So, I got to miss classes on a Friday to ride my horse the 12 or so miles to school. Fortunately, she didn’t object to the enclosure we made for her out of farm gates under an overhang of the building (possibly due to the amount of hay I gave her…) The plan was for her to stay overnight, be ready for the open house on the Saturday morning, and then we’d ride back home on the Saturday afternoon. Until it snowed… All in all, I believe she spent 2 or 3 nights at school, and never once tried to escape from her little covered corral.
The list of her positive traits was long, but there were a few she had that drove me nuts.
- She hated to be inside. The barn my Dad and I built didn’t have a door, just an opening where we were going to (eventually) put a door. O’Malley loved the whole no-door experience. Which was fine… except for the night before I was going to a horse show and I was trying to keep her as clean as I could. I used all sorts of barricades that I thought would work… Invariably, I’d get up at 6 only to find that she not only had gotten out, but had also rolled. Oh, and she didn’t particularly want to be caught, thank you very much. We only ever missed one show. She refused to load in the trailer that someone was picking her up in. She planted her feet and that was kind of it (despite royally pissing off the person trying to load her.) When the royally pissed off person kicked her in the stomach, I took the lead rope and took her back to the field. I didn’t want to show that badly…
- Oh, remember that horse sense? Yeah, there was a shadow side to that. We had an electric fence that made a steady tick – tick – tick noise. And it never took her more than 10 minutes or so to realize that there was no ticking, and she’d immediately escape.
- And the difficult to catch issue? She knew when I went to catch her after school that I was going to ride her, so she became rather difficult to catch. I can’t remember the number of times my Mom would come home from work, and O’Malley would be at the fence before Mom even came in the driveway. O’Malley knew the sound of the car, and that my Mom always brought her carrots. (The easiest way to a horse’s heart…).
As I mentioned earlier, O’Malley had an OM brand on her flank. It just so happened that a person who worked with my Mom (the wife of the man with the pick up with the rack), had an old brand book. Just on a whim, she looked up O’Malley’s brand – and it was listed!! I was so excited!
I wrote down the address (on the Montana/North Dakota border) and went home wrote a letter (it was 1976 at that point – pen and paper were still a thing). I could not believe it when I received a reply a week or so later. They had bred O’Malley, and still had her Quarter Horse dam Lady, although her Arabian sire had been killed by lightning a few years before. They sent pictures and we began communicating. The summer between my junior and senior years in High School, my parents and I travelled in their motor home out to visit the Moe’s and see where O’Malley had started her life.
We were welcomed into the family, and I got to ride Lady on a roundup 2 days after we arrived. Fortunately, I had been getting O’Malley and myself fit for a Pony Club rally, so I’d been spending quite a bit of time riding. But not in a Western saddle… Let’s just say it was a long (and amazing) day. Lady decided to go after a stray cow at one point. I figured she probably knew what she was doing better than I was! Once Lady was satisfied with getting the cow going in the right direction, I looked around and couldn’t see anyone. Which is kind of scary when you’re riding a horse in an area called the Badlands. But I figured O’Malley had to get her horse sense from someone, so I let Lady choose the way and we were back together with the main group within about 5 minutes. (5 looong minutes!) .
I should probably close now. I could keep telling stories about O’Mally for hours. It’s hard to believe that that horse that “a college girl rode English in horse shows” turned out t be a much better horse than that dealer could even imagine.
by penny | Jul 5, 2021 | The Horsey Life
If you’ve been working all day, whether it’s at your job or business, working in your garden, or keeping up with the housework, you may find yourself pretty tired at the end of the day. And if you typically ride after work, you’re likely to be wiped out long before you put a foot in the stirrup.
I’ve been there and it’s no fun! I don’t know about you, but I want to feel calm because I’m centered and grounded, not because I’m so fatigued I’m struggling to keep my eyes open.
There are thousands of ways to revive your energy – (just type a “how to get energy” in the Google search bar. I came up with about 2,450,000,000 results (0.79 seconds). Don’t feel like scrolling through several thousand articles? You’re in luck! I’ve done some of the searching for you.
The three types of exercises I chose are quick, simple, and free, (and none of them involve heading through the Starbucks drive-through on the way to the barn!)
Breathing
You might think I talk about breathing a lot, and there’s a good reason for that. It’s because I do. Using your breath in a mindful way can help you feel energized, calm, confident, or peaceful. The value of breathing exercises can’t be overstated – it goes with us wherever we go, and it’s even free!
Why it works: Deep breathing, which is also called belly breathing or abdominal breathing, brings more oxygen into your body. According to an article by Dr. Mehmet Oz on sharecare.com, Nitric oxide is drawn into your lungs when you practice deep breathing. Nitric oxide opens up airways and blood vessels in and around your lungs. Put better breathing in, and you’ll see improvements in your energy and overall health.
The links below take you to a few different sites with breathing exercises. I usually recommend that my students and clients try out a few different exercises. Try to remember to do the exercise 2 or 3 times a day for at least a few days. That will allow you to decide if you like the exercise and if you feel like it’s helping. If you try an exercise you absolutely hate, move on to the next one. (I’m sure you’ll find something that works in the 54,600,000 results that Google pulled up for me ( in 0.65 seconds) when I searched “deep breathing for energy”.
Gaiam, a well-respected wellness site, suggests a one-minute breathing exercise that’s based on yogic principles. Very effective, and it can be done simply, easily, and quickly!
Dr. Andrew Weil is a very well-known doctor of integrative medicine. Three of his breathing exercises can be learned here.
A quick explanation of Integrative Medicine given by the National Institutes of Health (NIH) “Integrated medicine (or integrative medicine as it is referred to in the United States) is practicing medicine in a way that selectively incorporates elements of complementary and alternative medicine into comprehensive treatment plans alongside solidly orthodox methods of diagnosis and treatment.
“Integrated medicine is not simply a synonym for complementary medicine. Complementary medicine refers to treatments that may be used as adjuncts to conventional treatment and are not usually taught in medical schools. Integrated medicine has a larger meaning and mission, its focus being on health and healing rather than disease and treatment. It views patients as whole people with minds and spirits as well as bodies and includes these dimensions into diagnosis and treatment. It also involves patients and doctors working to maintain health by paying attention to lifestyle factors such as diet, exercise, quality of rest and sleep, and the nature of relationships.”
Integrated Health is becoming more mainstream in the United States as patients and doctors seek ways to treat the person as a whole entity, rather than dozens of specific parts. Deep breathing is good for the whole body, not just your brain, or lungs, or heart.
Move
Not the “hire a U-Haul truck, pack up all of your furniture and head across the country” sort of move, more like the “let’s go for a walk, or dance in the kitchen (or clean stalls, groom, ride, etc).
Paradoxically, we’re often dealing with pain that limits the very thing that will make us feel energized – movement.
I am not, I repeat, I am NOT a doctor or other medical professional. You need to speak with your health care provider before you embark on any new exercise program. Be ready with specific questions on what exercises would be beneficial, and which to avoid to keep you strong, keep you healthy, reduce your pain, and ramp up your energy. You can speak with your doctor or physical therapist about what exercises can actually improve your pain while they give your energy a boost.
Hydrate
I don’t know about you, but when it’s hot like it is here in Virginia at the moment, I drink a LOT of water. I have 2 quart-size water bottles as well as a 20-ounce one. They’re stainless steel and double-walled so they don’t leave damp rings on my desk as I work. They also go with me when I go to the barn, work in the garden, or take any drive that’s more than 15 minutes.
According to an article in cnet, water can make you more energized.
“Drinking more water gives you more energy to do anything from strenuous physical feats to staying awake at your desk after lunch. Many studies have shown that dehydration lowers athletic performance, making you feel sluggish and off your game. It can also cause you to feel tired or sleepy, so if you’re getting enough sleep but can’t keep your eyes open, you may need to just up your water intake.
One study suggested that being dehydrated hurts physical performance for any activity longer than thirty seconds. Even if you don’t work out for hours on end, short flights of stairs or walking around the city you live in will feel much easier if you’re hydrated.”
I tend to sweat a lot, so it’s important for me to stay hydrated. I keep track of how many bottles I’ve consumed during the day by putting colored elastic bands around my bottle – 1 for each bottle I’d like to drink during the day. So if I want to drink 4 quarts, I’ll put 2 elastic bands on the lower section of each quart-sized bottle. When I finish a quart, I just roll the elastic higher on the bottle. When all of my bands are near the top of the bottles, I know how much water I’ve had during the day.
So now you have a few things to do during the day that can help your energy levels, and also improve your overall health – helping you be the owner your horse deserves for many years to come.
Until next time, Love Your Horse, Love Your Life, Love Your Self
by penny | May 9, 2021 | Find Yourself on a Horse, The Horsey Life
Have you ever realized that “goal” is a four-letter word? The irony and appropriateness of that amuse me (but my amusement threshold is incredibly low after a year of pandemic life).
According to Wikipedia, a goal is “an idea of the future or desired result that a person or a group of people envision, plan and commit to achieve.” When I was running my training barn, I created goals tailored to each horse. One stallion that came to me for training clearly needed to relax his topline use his back more freely. He had been started by a rider who tried to control him by taking a death grip on the reins. By the time the poor horse came to me, his defense mechanism was to just tuck his chin against his chest, totally dropping behind the contact, and then just tank off. He clearly needed to be ridden sympathetically, and learn to seek the connection rather than fearing it.
My solution for him was to take him out trail riding. He’d never been out on trails, so it would be an experience he wouldn’t associate with having his head cranked in, and he was fascinated by all the smells. He walked along like a bloodhound, nose to the ground, and stretching over his topline nicely. As the days went by, I gradually asked him to walk on very light contact, then a bit more contact, and he was perfectly happy to comply. After about 3 weeks of solely being hacked out, I took him back in the ring and he happily stretched over his topline and reached for the connection with the bit. How did I achieve my goal? I used 3 steps that can be applied to any goal – horse-related or not.
- Begin with the end in mind. I learned this from the late Stephen Covey, a leadership and productivity genius, in his book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, (although the original idea is attributed to philosopher Seneca around 50 BC). So, how does that relate to goals for horsewomen? You’ve got to know what you want to achieve. In the case of the stallion above, my goal for him was to have him relax his back and trust the contact. I couldn’t do anything with his training until we achieved that objective. So, I started there.
- My second step was to establish exactly where we were starting. If I rode him on a loose rein and didn’t attempt to pick up contact, he was calm. He responded well to aids from my legs and seat, and would half-halt nicely just without any rein contact. That was good, but as soon as I picked up the reins, he would get tense and start to duck his head back against his chest. So, my starting point with him was that he was responsive to seat and leg, but the whole idea of contact really freaked him out.
- My third step was to reverse engineer the journey that would take him from very tense and tight to relaxed and trusting. I worked backward from my goal and brainstormed some ideas to use as goalposts along the way. I wanted him to seek contact, but before that, he’d have to trust contact. Before he could trust contact, he’d need to trust me, and learn that I wasn’t just going to pull on his face as hard as I could. Before he could trust me, he had to get to know me a bit better. I spend a lot of time on the ground with him. Hand grazing, grooming, a bit of lunging – all of those experiences let him began to see me as someone very unlike the original person who started him. It all began with trust.
If you’re having any training issues with your horse, take a step back and decide what your end goal is. The steps required to help a horse relax his topline may be quite different than if you’re wanting your horse to be more responsive to leg aids. I always ask students if they want to ride in the Olympics, or would they be happy taking relaxing trail rides or entering some local shows. Be crystal clear about your goal will help you attain it that much more quickly and easily.
In the words of the inimitable Yogi Berra, “If you don’t know where you are going, you‘ll end up someplace else”, so make sure you know where you’re going!
Until the next time, Love Your Horse, Love Your Life, and Love Yourself!
by penny | Oct 19, 2020 | The Horsey Life
Riding Horses Never Hurt When I Was a Kid…and other laments of a midlife horsewoman
If you have a chance to hang around with other midlife horsewomen, you may hear them moaning about this somewhat frequently, (which is comforting in a “Misery Loves Company” kind of way); but, if you don’t spend a lot of time with other prime-time riders, various aches and pains can be disconcerting… and embarrassing.
Let me jump in right here and say that none of this is intended to be medical advice or to suggest treatment or diagnosis for any discomfort you may be experiencing. Always check with your health care professional before starting new forms of exercise.
OK, now that we have that out of the way, let’s look at some of the issues we face as returning horsewomen.
Well, this never hurt before…
I don’t know about you, but I don’t remember ever being sore after a ride when I was a kid. Well, there was that one time I got kicked in the crotch the night before a show… that definitely made for a pretty uncomfortable day in the saddle… but I digress.
When we’re young, we’re more likely to be flexible, to have a greater degree of cardiovascular stamina, to have better balance, and to lead a generally more active life. Obviously, this is one of those sweeping generalities that everyone advises against, but you get my point.
So the realization that riding can hurt can be sobering; however, pain isn’t the only physical issue we experience when we return to riding as midlifers. (Oh yay, there’s more?!?) Loss of flexibility, especially in our backs, hips, and knees can seriously impact our comfort level when we start riding again. And if pain and stiffness weren’t enough to send you in search of the nearest bottle of wine, let’s not forget about balance.
According to Healthinaging.org, nearly 8 million adults of all ages in the United States report balance disorders each year. About one-third of the older population reports difficulty with balance or walking; the numbers increase significantly after age 75. All in all, almost 40% of older adults are affected.
In case you haven’t noticed, good balance is key – for you and your horse to enjoy comfortable rides. A balanced rider is easier for a horse to carry in a balanced way. The rider’s balance can even have more of an impact than her weight on a horse’s ability to safely and comfortably lug a human around its back. This is not to say that you get a free pass if you’re seriously obese but can stand on one leg for a count of 10 without toppling over, but that’s a discussion for you to have with your doctor (and your vet.)
Funny, I don’t remember feeling (fill in the blank)…
After a break of several years, (or decades), getting back into the saddle can bring great joy, immediately followed by the shocking realization that this feels nothing like it did when you were younger. What happened to that old adage about riding a bicycle – you never forget? Isn’t that supposed to apply to riding horses, too? Evidently, one of the times you fell on your head when you were 10 caused just enough of a concussion to erase all memories of the downsides of riding; and you’re now discovering:
- The distance between the ground and the saddle has doubled since you were last on a horse
- Sitting trot is an exercise developed by the devil himself
- Any attempt to perform the above-mentioned sitting trot makes you feel you’re about to get a black eye and/or a concussion from your breasts bouncing around and smacking you in the face
- The speed of canter has increased exponentially since you last rode
It stinks to have to face the fact that we didn’t retain all the skills (and fitness) we had when we were kids; but, there is a way forward!
And I’ll share that with you next Monday. Until then, love your horse, love your life, and love yourself.
by penny | Feb 13, 2018 | The Horsey Life
We all want to do our best with our horses.
Whether we trail ride for relaxation, compete at schooling shows, or hit the big circuit, we want to do what’s right by our equine partners. And this is a good thing. The trouble creeps in when we’re so busy striving for perfect that we miss excellent.
If you’re a dressage competitor, you’re familiar with the 0 – 10 scoring system. Fortunately, in all of my years scribing for dressage judges, I’ve only had to put that goose egg into a score box a few times. Sadly. I’ve only had the pleasure of writing that rainbows and unicorns score – the “perfect 10”- a few times as well.
The perfect 10 is something we’re used to pursuing culturally – from the 1979 Movie starring Dudley Moore and Bo Derek to the Olympic athletes that capture our attention and our hearts every 4 years – everyone wants a 10. But the truth about 10? It doesn’t stand for perfect – it stands for excellent -and there’s a very big difference: excellence is attainable, perfection usually isn’t.
Why Perfectionism Doesn’t Serve You
An article in Psychology Today compares how people pursuing excellence rather than perfection cope better with setbacks, learn from their mistakes, and are able to feel good about themselves, even when they come in second.
Let’s break these down a bit.
People pursuing excellence rather than perfection are better able to cope with setbacks.
Picture this – you’ve been doing well at shows all year, and if things go well at the last 2 shows, you’ll walk away with a year end championship. You’re so excited – you’ve dreamed of this for years! And then your horse goes lame. Nothing serious, but it puts you out of the running for that long-coveted 4 foot tall trophy, embroidered cooler, and bragging rights with your friends and family (and anyone who stands still long enough at the tack shop).
Your response is:
- They never drug test at these shows. I’ll just bute him up for the next 2 shows and then he can have the winter off. Nothing is coming between me and that trophy.
- OK, I’ll give him this first show off, bute him up, and then enter him in enough extra classes at the last show that we’ll still have a shot at that trophy.
- It’s only a trophy. My horse is more important to me than any trophy, no matter how big and shiny it is. I’m in it for the long game, we have years ahead of us. I have so many good memories of this year – the ribbons we’ve already won are so far above my hopes. I’ll go to those last 2 shows and groom for my friends.
If you answered 1, you’re probably (as in 150% definitely) a perfectionist. You need to cut yourself (and your horse) some slack. One or both of you are going to end up burned out, used up, or permanently injured.If you want to push yourself that hard, go into a sport that doesn’t require your horse to pay the price for your dreams of glory.
If you answered 2, you’re in the bargaining phase. Not quite resigned to giving up the trophy, still holding onto that child-like optimism – you’re walking the line between being a perfectionist and an excellentist (I don’t know why that isn’t a word, don’t you think it should be?) Hopefully, the optimistic child in you loves her horse enough not to do anything stupid, or should I say “ill-advised”, and you’ll give your horse the chance to heal properly.
If you answered 3, Are. You. Kidding. Me? What planet did you just fall from?? I mean, it’s awesome that you love your horse and you’re taking the setback in stride, but seriously – you’re going to go to the show that could have been the answer to your childhood dreams and groom for your friends? That’s almost frighteningly nice.
But I digress. The point here is that when you pursue excellence, you really do deal with setbacks better than the average perfectionist. (Is “average perfectionist” an oxymoron?)
People pursuing excellence rather than perfection are better able to learn from their mistakes.
So – to revisit the lame horse in our previous scenario – the vet feels the lameness issue could be because you forgot to call your blacksmith and your horse was over a week late for new shoes. Since his toes had grown out a bit, the change of the angle caused him to be a bit off… From now on, the blacksmith’s next visit is scheduled before he packs up his truck and drives out through the gate. You learned from your mistake – voila!
People pursuing excellence rather than perfection are better able to feel good, even when they don’t win.
So you’ve spent all season working toward that championship. You’ve cleaned up your aids, worked on improving a little every day, and when the day arrives, you and your horse just aren’t on your game. You come in 3rd. Or 10th. Or last.
Can you brush it off (after you go back to the trailer and have a good cry) and understand that it simply didn’t come together today?
Can you look at a “loss” and not beat yourself up about it?
Spend a little time thinking about how your mind works when you’re having a riding lesson, trying something new with your horse, or even preparing dinner for guests. Do you note the things that go right or the things that go wrong? Fretting over the fact that you got expensive wine for dinner and neither of your guests drink may stress you out, but fretting over the fact that your horse always bulges through the outside shoulder in leg yield to the right is going to affect him as much or more than it does you. This is where you call a time out, take a deep breathe (and don’t forget to breathe out again…), and find out what’s really going on – both with your horse and with your mindset.
If you’re in a perfectionist mindset, you’re likely to be having thoughts that include words like “should”, “always”, “never” and “why-the-heck-can’t-you-get-this-right-we’ve-been-working-on-it-for-two-weeks!?!” None of those words are going to help your horse stay straight in a leg yield. Try instead, “What’s actually happening?”
If you discover that he always budgets his shoulder when circling to the right, you’re also likely to realize he bulges his shoulder when leg-yielding to the left. Break it down until you can isolate a specific body part (or a few specific body parts).
If you’re not able to feel it, have a friend give you a hand (actually, a pair of eyes). If your friend happens to know what “bulging a shoulder” is, well then, you’ve got some pretty awesome (and useful) friends. If not, have someone, anyone, (even a spouse works for this) take a quick video on your phone. Then have a look and see if you can tell what’s going on.
By taking this step in curiosity, and a genuine desire to know what’s going on NOT so you can beat yourself up, but so you can thoughtfully and consciously work for improvement.
Perfect really isn’t somewhere we’re ever going to dwell for too long, but “better” is a great journey for you and your horse. Even though it may still be a stretch, “better” is attainable, realistic, and the “perfect” way to get to excellent.
